There Will Be Time Later | Adriana Carballo on Dreams, Intuition & the Cost of Waiting

0:00that there would be time for that. I mean, Costa Rica is not just around the corner and my life is busy and living in another country, figuring out all of the things, responsibilities and then Latin America and people know us for this saying that says mañana, mañana, like center. You know, I will have time. I would put it in the mañana category, but then my grandmother died and I was so close. I was in Mexico and she was in Costa Rica and I received the call in the morning on a Saturday and I was at this conference for the whole day and I was like, when I get to the hotel at night, I'm gonna see if I can change my flight because I wanna be there. And then I come to my hotel room at night and the message was that she had passed.

0:46And I think my stone here is not the grief or the sadness that I still feel, but it's really how many things that matter to us that we keep putting into that. Oh my God, I didn't think I was gonna get so emotional, but how many things that matter, the things that matter the most to us that we keep placing in that mañana category. Hi, I'm Debbie Thompson and this is A Stone in My Shoe, the podcast where we explore how midlife can become the most true purposeful and fulfilling chapter yet when we listen to what's really there. And today's guest is Adriana Kobalo,

1:32originally from Costa Rica and now living in Denmark. Adriana is a mother, storyteller, community builder and co-creator of Spark Keepers, a global community that helps people stay connected to what matters most. She is also the founder of the School of Magic and Adventure, a vision inspired by the importance of nature, imagination, wonder and belonging. Welcome, Adriana. Oh, thank you, Debbie. I'm so happy to be here. And you're joining us from Denmark today. Yes, from Denmark. Yes. Beautiful. And I'm joining from near Perth, Western Australia. Isn't it amazing how we can be connected?

2:18It is so amazing. I love it. So before we begin, I just want you to speak to the woman who's listening today. As she hears your story, what do you hope she begins to see or understand about herself? Oh, Debbie, what a beautiful question to get started. I like, I have this way of getting into new things that it's really to say, just be pressed and open and knowing that you will know what is in here for you to set the intention to be open to receive that. Because sometimes we're like,

3:05what could it be? And what could I say? And what just open up to the possibility that there's a part of us that knows and then we could just get it if we are open to it. I love that. So it's an insight job. It's in us. We've just got to find the time to listen and allow and have the intention, as you said, to know that it's there and then it will come out and trust. Oh, I love it. It's like kind of surrender, trust in and knowing. It's very gentle, but yet very powerful. Love that. Before we get into the stone, I just wanted to find out a little bit more about you. Who are you in this season of your life and what matters most to you?

3:52Well, you said so, like the way you introduced me was so beautiful, like with your accent. I love it. Many people in my life have said, oh, you have such an exotic accent because you're like from Latin America. But for me, it's like the Australian accent and the English, the UK accent for me are just so exotic and sexy. So I love it. But Debbie, who am I right now? Some of the things that I share when I share an introduction is really, I'm a mother, I'm Adriana, I'm from Costa Rica. I've lived in Denmark for more, pretty much all my adult life, like 22 years, we could say in that way. I'm a mother of two children.

4:37My son is 18. My daughter is 14. I love cats. I love stories. I love looking for, I think in this season of my life, I'm going to be 50 years old this year. And because a lot of what I do and what I have dreamt and done for many years has been around the connection with nature and going on adventures and doing more of the things that we love. I think I'm in a season where I'm just very much looking forward for as many stories, as many metaphors, as many things that I could remember myself to use with others.

5:23So that's something that I'm very passionate about. And to be honest, I think I, or I feel that I'm in this season that is calling me to embody more all of these things that I also want others to have, to truly be true to myself, walk my talk. Am I really creating space for the things that are important to me? I know how important it is, but am I walking my talk? Yeah, I love that because it's not only you sharing what you've learned over all these years and everything you've done, but you're still learning. So it's like you're walking side by side. And as you teach and grow with other people, you learn as well. So this is beautiful symbiotic relationship

6:09of giving, receiving, and yeah, I really love that. That's beautiful. So let's get into the stone in your shoe. So what stone would you like to talk about today? And if you could describe it or name it simply, what would it be? I reflect a little bit when I knew this was what this was about. Yeah, and I was thinking, what could it be? And the story that led me to that is really about one of my grandmothers that led me to the others and to the everybody else. But my grandmother from my mom's side, she dreamt about seeing the Norwegian fjords. And I used to work in a season of my life. I would go and work on cruise ships and travel around the world.

6:55And my grandma, when I came back home, she would be sitting in the port asking me, and I could see the spark in her eyes, tell me more, and where did you go, and all of that. And in one of those conversations, she shared with me that she always wanted to see the Norwegian fjords. And I'm like, where did you hear about the Norwegian fjords? I didn't even know about it. And so the point is that for many years, I really imagined and I dreamt, I had that desire to bring my grandma to Norway, especially after I was living in Scandinavia. And I have seen the Norwegian fjords and so majestic and so amazing. And I really thought that there would be time for that. But Costa Rica is not just around the corner

7:41and my life is busy and living in another country, figuring out all of the things, responsibilities, and then Latin America and people know us for this saying that says, sent to, yeah, I will have time. I would put it in the mañana category, but then my grandmother died and I was so close. I was in Mexico and she was in Costa Rica and I received the call in the morning on a Saturday. And I was at this conference for the whole day. And I was like, when I get to the hotel at night, I'm going to see if I can change my flight because I want to be there. And then I called to my hotel room at night and the message was that she had passed. And I think my stone here is not the grieve for the sadness that I still feel, but it's really how many things

8:28that matter to us that we keep putting into that. Oh my God, I didn't think I was going to get so emotional, but how many things that matter, the things that matter the most to us that we keep placing in that mañana category. And I can really feel your emotion in that because it was almost your grandmother's wish for this and then something about life is precious. Life, mañana, mañana, tomorrow might not come. And so looking back now at your grandmother's passing, what did her death make you begin to notice about your own life?

9:13It began to help me reflect deeper on all these things that have been very important to me, like the sense of adventure, the sense of doing the things that we love and also reflecting on what are those things that are really important to me that I am not doing. What are those adventures that I want to go on? What is the dream that I want? And especially that one that just couldn't be ignored anymore. Am I actually... There was this moment where I have this practice that every month I sit down and I ask, what is most alive in me? What is it that I really want? And there was this moment where I felt this dream that I have for this school in Costa Rica, for this project, it can no longer wait.

10:00I need it. My children need it. I can realize that I want to stop thinking that there is a lot of time and then just start figuring this out. So your grandmother's death was almost a stone that was so painful to go. I can't wait. I can't wait for the perfect time for everything to be aligned so that it can happen. So I've got to bring all the mayanas today. What feels most alive in me now? And I'm going to make that happen. And before that, what did you believe about things that, oh, I won't, I'll do it tomorrow. I'm not going to do it now. What do you think the underlying thing was?

10:47Debbie, I've never been a person that is afraid of dreaming big. I'm always, sometimes when we think of this mayana, what is it that is, as you're asking, what is it under that? Am I waiting for the right time? Am I waiting for the right circumstances? Am I waiting? What is it that we're waiting for? What is it that we're not really believing or believing? And I think that's certainty. Sometimes I'm waiting for the certainty that things are going to be right. That has not been my thing. I've never, I haven't waited so much. I just jumped. It could be like the total opposite. Oh, I jumped and I got in trouble. So waiting for certainty hasn't been my pattern. But waiting for other people to understand and approve half.

11:39And waiting and believing that I have to do it alone half. So those are like core beliefs that actually taking that leap and going to Costa Rica with my children to figure how can I do this? Those seven months in Costa Rica helped me see all of that. It helped me see how hard it was for me to receive support from others. It helped me see how much I was just caring this belief on the way that I needed to do it by myself and also how hard it was for me to express, to really feel so in love and enchanted with my dream and my vision

12:27that I would just begin to talk about it. I was just so much waiting for others. You know what matters to you, but still I was just looking around the room like, does anyone else also feel the same or can they see what I see? Does it make sense? Oh, absolutely. So and isn't that interesting? So below the stone of not doing these things, you and then you dig deeper and what comes out is this belief that you probably picked up as a young child and it still runs your life and you're so subconscious that you're not even aware of what it is. But once you dig down and see what it is, bring it into the light to know. What is it? Do I need permission from others? Do I need approval? Can I do it alone?

13:13And once you bring that all out into the light, you go, no, I can do this. And then that's when the magic happens, doesn't it? Because you're now not stuck in mañana. It's it's going to happen. It's going to happen exactly. Yeah. So when you went to Costa Rica with your children and you uncovered all of this and you were like, oh my gosh, okay, this is what's this is my stone. This is what's been holding me back. What could you no longer tolerate or what did you change and how did that change your life? When I came back from Costa Rica, I had it was not like right away that I understood this. It took me a little while to process, to reflect on it, to integrate, but really from that understanding what I started doing.

14:03I think maybe this is how I would like to answer this question. Is this I just knew I couldn't do it alone. I knew I wanted to or need it. It was not even wanted. It was like, I need to expand my capacity to receive. I need to be better at asking for what it is that I want to express my dream, my thing in a way that people understand it better also. So I think that for me, it was what I could no longer tolerate. It was just like the pity party in my head sometimes. Oh, people don't understand what I'm saying or I'm like, no, Adriana, you have clarity of what it is that you want you. What you need is to learn, learn how to have a business,

14:51learn how to network, learn how to share the things and put yourself in the rooms where people that really understand and are. So that was the thing. I could no longer tolerate that little maybe the idea or the story like, oh, but I'm doing everything by myself because I could see it. That's what I have been believing that I need to do it by myself. So am I going to continue to do this by myself? Or am I going to open up to learn how to receive even though it's uncomfortable and how to put myself out there and ask, yeah. So that first step takes quite a lot of courage. First, it's understanding what's below them. And then the second thing is understanding and then it's taking

15:40that the courageous step to learn new things, to ask for help, to do things that feel slightly uncomfortable. And when you were doing that, how was that for you? And how quickly did all those pieces fit into place? And I'm sure you learned other things about yourself and new pieces. Oh, I think it's like we wouldn't be here together like the two of us. If I think about me doing all those things, it's just led to, I want to say to reconnect with the person that introduced the two of us, like Rory, who created this co-creator incubator and I stepped in and then I learned so many things. And based on that, open up a new door of possibility,

16:28a new world of these people that are doing things, incredible things around the world, like what I am doing and what I want to do more of. So it's just one thing led to the other and then we're here. And I am in this process right now of all of the things, like the past 10 years of doing things alone have come to a moment or, okay, there is power in doing things together with others. And that's what I'm doing right now. So I think, yeah. And what I really love about what you said is that when you first went in, you didn't really know what was going to unfold, but you took the first step of going,

17:13I can't do this alone, I need to ask for help. You took the first, then something else came and then you met somebody else and stuff that you probably hadn't even considered has evolved because of this ability to receive, to trust. But really importantly, and I want to get this across, you took the courageous decision to do it because it's all one and good to say the stuff. But somebody's got to take that first step. And that someone is each one of us, yeah, like each one of us with whatever it is that we are one. We don't have to, you don't have to live your whole life behind in Denmark to go to Costa Rica. You don't have to take that big leap or whatever it is that first step begins with each one of us,

17:59whatever that is, whatever we are and what we're wanting. And I guess the question is that the fear that you had doing the first steps versus all the benefits that you've got probably way outweigh the fear, right? Yeah. And all the stories there, when I think about all the people I've met and all the crazy rooms that I've gotten myself into like the past year, like I've been in all kinds and tried all kinds of networking options that were out there because of course you want that and then you begin to see it and at the beginning I was like, oh, I want to be there and I want to be there. And I signed up for so many things. It was like crazy. I was like, I cannot keep up. What am I doing? But I didn't know what I was doing

18:45and I would go into a room. They ask you what do you do and then nobody understands what you do. I don't even know how to introduce myself. I don't know so many things and I just love because I love stories. I love this idea of that we put ourselves in this, we create these adventures for ourselves so that we can have more stories to tell or else it's boring. Then we don't have stories to tell about the things that we're doing. So if your grandma's looking down at you now and she goes, wow, Adriana, you have just all the things I want to do, you've made the magic happen. What matters most? You talked about adventure and imagination and nature and belonging. I see that as well. So have you got a list?

19:32You said, what matters to you most now? Have you got a list of some things that you really that have to be done? I do. My grandma's birthday is the 24th of July and last year before that date I was playing with the possibilities or the idea that I could make a list of 50 things I wanted to do before I turned 50 because one of my friends actually did that. She posted a video on sales and she said, hey guys, I'm turning 50 next year. This is a list of things and she said, if someone wants to help me if you have another idea, if you want to add something to these want to do any of this with me.

20:17And remember I told you I was, I knew that I needed to open up to receive and to not do things alone. And here's my friend asking for help saying, hey, I have this list. I'm like, I'm on it. I want to see that list, Rhiannon. What do you have? How can I help? And so I saw one of the things on her list and I reached out and then we started so that kicked off the process for me. Wait a minute, I'm also going to be 50 next year. I want to make my own list but I was hesitating. I was still alerting my head 50 things. Can I even make it happen before I turn 50? Oh my God. And the night before the 23rd of July, the night before my grandma's birthday,

21:04I went to bed talking to her and feeling how much, how much I missed her, how much I wished I was there. And in the morning when I woke up on her birthday, it was actually a new moon, July last year. She was sitting next to me and she said if you're not right that list and go on those adventures. And so I did. I remember I woke up, I took my journal like that is okay. I'm just going to write these 50 things. I'm not even going to think about it on my birthday one month after I announced my list and I did all the things. And I have been doing a few of those things and that one about planting 50 trees with Rhiannon.

21:51We're going. We're getting ready in one week. I'm going to be in Costa Rica and we put together a little adventure inviting other women to come and plant those trees with us. And a few of the things that were on my list, I started taking action and it had led me to some of the most incredible people and adventures. And even this moment, what I am co-creating is actually based on those things on my list that I started doing. Amazing. Amazing. And I guess the thing is we don't want the passing of a grandmother to be the thing that kicks us into motion. And often that's the stone in the shoe though, right? You need a kick and the fact that you're doing it

22:37and the fact that you're growing in the most unexpected ways and meeting things and I can just feel your energy and your love for life and it's just infectious. It's beautiful. And I guess for the woman listening, perhaps she's carrying a dream. Maybe there's a conversation that she's been going and eventually she's been thinking about or something meaningful she's been thinking of. What would you want to say to her so that she doesn't wait for the perfect moment? Okay, there's actually two things. I was actually thinking about one but now as you were asking, okay, there is one other thing. The first one is write it down. This has been like an incredible thing for me.

23:23I heard many years ago, someone that says if it's not on your on paper, it's not real. So that's debatable. If it's it can live in the imagination but something happens when you put it on the paper. So write it down. Write it down. And the other thing is like we might have this giant dreams and things that we want to do and right now they might not seem very possible and that's totally okay because that's what they that's what they are. They're like, Oh my God, how on earth could I do that? But my my thing that I would love to say is just begin with that one little thing that inner adventure instead of put in there.

24:09Oh my God, I want to go out there and I want to travel the whole world and I want to do this. Go in that inner adventure first and to remember what is it that gives me joy? What is what is it that I really love doing? What is something that I love? And how can I begin to create a little bit of more space for that into my life? It could be walking barefoot on the grass. It can be I don't know dancing in the shower or singing in the shower or visiting your grandma or going for coffee calling your friend and go for those things that you could say, Oh, but I don't have time. But but what gives you joy

24:56and begin to create space? Because what I have learned is that the more space we create the more things we can do. Of course, we're creators. We're putting our focus on that. But what at some point what today seemed impossible naturally evolves into it is possible. Why not? Because I'm feeling so good. I'm meeting all these people. I'm doing I'm dancing in the shower. I'm singing karaoke. Whatever it is. And now from that space, we go with the air to say, why not? Let's just do it. Let's just dream bigger. I love I love that because it has something that is so practical. What makes me happy?

25:42Write it down and then do more of it. So it's not like I need to go on this huge big adventure. I don't have the time and I don't have the money and all the blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. This is simple. What makes me happy? Walking barefoot on the grass. I'm going to do that. I'm going to make time for it. And then the more you make time for that, the happier you feel, the more you want it. They say whatever you focus on, you get more of. And then your gratitude changes. And then before you know it, you, oh, I can't do that because I don't I don't have the money. I don't have this. It gets bigger and bigger and bigger. And yeah, we grow as our dreams go. So it doesn't have to be something mind blowing something simple. I love that because it's so practical and everyone can take action today.

26:27Everyone and Debbie, I just thought about one thing. May I just share one little thing extra thing? Because as I was listening to you, I wanted to give another example of these things on my list and how these that I'm actually saying could and fall like in the you have no idea. One of the things that I wrote on my list is that on my birthday, I would love to celebrate like in the garden party and I said Italy because I love this idea of the long tables with white tablecloths and a lot of delicious food and people having fun and eating a lot. And in my head, I'm like, oh my God, 24th of August. How could I be in Italy? It doesn't really matter. I'm just like, that would be cool.

27:13And that's it. And that's one of the things that it's there that I haven't even read many times, but it's written on my list. A few days ago, I am a couple of days ago. This is literally like two days ago. I was sitting with my friend from Africa. She invited me for dinner. We were there eating or and then this woman walks in. This is a woman from Italy that my friend used to take care of her daughter. Incredibles. I'm so joyful. She they were talking and so I was there in the conversation and then the conversation led to how this place where they got married and all of that and then that she lives in the mountain. His husband lives in this little town on the left.

27:59And then I tell her about this. How you know what? I had this and my listen. Oh my God, my husband would love that and my father in law. Oh, you could come to this place and in August that's so hard. So we could do it here in Denmark. And so we started thinking about that and then she says, I really have to talk with my husband. He also has his birthday in August and he's going to be 40 next year. And maybe you could go to this town where he is born because it sounds like the perfect place. And I was like, that sounds perfect. I can also turn 50 next year. I can just forget that I'm going to be 50 and then next year. And I'm like, when is his birthday and his birthday is the 24th of August the same day that I have my birthday.

28:46So I don't know how this is going to unfold, but those are the things that if I didn't have it on my list, if it was not written down, if I didn't let it go and it's just, what the hell? I don't know, but I would love that. But for now I'm just going to first go and dance in the shower or sing in the shower. That's what I can do now. Yeah, and you know what I love about what you said is that you have this idea but you don't micromanage when it's going to happen, how it's going to happen. You put it out into the universe. Maybe it's a year after you turn 50, but the point is when you put it out there, the universe almost conspires to work with you to make it happen. And if you don't put it out there, this woman would never have known that you wanted to go to Italy.

29:32If you hadn't had that dream to put it on the piece of paper and then talk about it, no one else knows. So it's getting it out there. And as crazy as it seems, you'd have to know how it might not have fallen exactly but it will unfold in some way. Yeah. And I love that. It's just surrendering to how just I love that. Yeah. Beautiful. So is it just before we finish out? Is there anything else you would like to share with myself and the woman who's listening about what you've learned and just anything at all? Yeah. How can you and everybody listen

30:19become just a little bit more enchanted with the story of your life? This has been a big thing for me during the past year and thinking about the stones like those stones in our shoes. Are we loving them? Do we feel the gratitude for those stones? Because they have taught us something. They have done something for us. So what is that stone maybe right now and how can we begin to become a little bit more grateful for it and entente it with that story? That stone has a story.

31:06And are we enchanted with it? Yeah. That's to flip it instead of going, there's a stone. I'm so annoyed by it. To flip it on its head and go, how can I be enchanted by this? How can this teach me something? How can I be grateful? And that's a bit of magic right there. It is. And it's like, imagine you're walking in the forest and you have a stone in your shoes and you just keep walking and walking. Oh my God, the relief when you just take the shoe off and say, oh my God, thank God, the stone is gone. But maybe you stopped more along the way. You didn't dare to take it off, but you might have stopped a little longer to rest in the trail until you finally decided to say,

31:52all right, thank you. But off you go, I'm going to keep walking and this stone is gone. But I'm happy and I'm grateful. I like that analogy that you said when you're walking and there's a stone and you just pause and you take the stone out and then life becomes more comfortable. And I think that is exactly what we need to do when something feels, when we get that feeling that uncomfortable feeling or that, oh, I need to do something, rather than ignore it, actually allow it, dig a little bit deeper, take the shoe off, have a look, see what the conditioning is, what thoughts am I living by? And then when that stone is removed, life just becomes much more comfortable. Yeah. Yeah.

32:38Oh, Adrienne, thank you so much for your time today and for your wisdom and for your energy and for your enthusiasm. It's just been magical. I can just feel that joy and awe and wonder and gratitude that you have. So thank you. Thank you also, Debbie, thank you so much. It's been beautiful. Thank you for having me. As you finish listening today, just notice what stayed with you. Perhaps there's a part that felt familiar or maybe there was something a little uncomfortable. Don't try and overanalyze it. Maybe just recognize it because often that's what's asking for a little more of your attention. Thank you for listening.