Why You Can’t See It When You’re In It - Midlife Awareness & Self-Trust

0:00Hi, I'm Debbie Thompson and this is A Stone in My Shoe. The podcast where we explore how midlife can become the most true purposeful and fulfilling chapter yet when we choose to follow out in a wisdom. And today's guest is Giancarlo Guren, who works at the intersection of psychology, clinical nursing, NLP and deep energetic recalibration. Her own journey has included discovering her spiritual gifts and learning how to integrate them rather than to hide them. It has also included navigating domestic violence and the long road of rediscovering and reigniting herself. Today she supports empowered women and high achieving leaders, navigating major transitions, identity shifts and high stakes decisions.

0:47She does this by clearing subconscious patterns, internal value conflicts and unseen energetic interference so they can lead from clarity, coherence and sovereignty. Giancarlo, welcome. Thank you so much for having me, Debbie. I am excited to be here. Yeah, I'm excited to hear your story as well. But before we go into your story, I just want to frame for the lady who's listening to this, when she finishes a podcast, what do you hope she understands differently about herself in terms of subconscious patterns, energy, clarity or anything else? Thank you for that question. So I would like to start off with questions as well. So I use questions to invite awareness in for someone to just sit in within and integrate

1:41and allow the awareness to flow. So I would throw it back with a question. What if you were never wrong? You'd never been wrong. And there's always choice in how you can change your life. And nothing is also outside of you. It's just all within when you reach your own heart. That's an interesting perspective to throw it back. And instead of looking externally, slow things down and start looking internally. Very, very interesting. Thank you for turning that around and posing a question. And what might she realize is possible that she hasn't yet allowed herself to believe?

2:27That is so cool. I love that question. So in every situation that I have experience in my life, whether it be amazing or not so great, or even like the most gruesome thing that I could imagine that I thought I wouldn't have experience is I always ask myself, what's the gift in this? What's the gift in this? And always I would get something greater than what I expected. And I'm able to see clearly things that I haven't seen before or realized that like, yeah, so that was the gift in that particular instance. There is always a gift in everything that we choose and in all of our experiences.

3:12That's a wonderful and empowering thing to know that there is a gift in everything. And restating things and re-looking at things makes it incredibly empowering. That's wonderful. So before we dive into your stones, I just wanted to find out a little bit more about you, Jen Karla. When people see the work you do now, what part of your earlier life might surprise them? So the more surprising I think, which is getting more and more discovered nowadays, is that I used to do ghost busting. And I was hired with my friends overseas by high-profile people,

3:59politicians, millionaires, like serial entrepreneurs. And they would hire us to clear their mansions, their business enterprises, and even islands. So they would fly us to anywhere in the Philippines. So we could do energy calibration. And my job in that particular group was to count how many entities there were before the process and after. But Jen Karla, I mean, that is wild and unusual. And I've never seen the movie, but I've never met a real-life ghost buster. So that's incredibly exciting. How old were you when this happened? And how did you know you could do this?

4:47Yeah, I think I was in my early 20s at that time. And I knew that there was always something different about me growing up as a little child. But I was able to explore it more when I got connected and had this coherent collaborations with people that are like-minded. And there was no judgment. It was all welcome, no matter what facet of life you're from. And I remember during that time, Debbie, that I have come from a clinical background. So I'm a psychology graduate. I did psychological science as a pre-med course. I was going to become a doctor.

5:32And then I changed my choice to go into nursing instead. And so I have two degrees. And at that time, the challenge for me was, how do I connect my scientific healthcare background with spirituality? And when I found the people that actually allowed me to be me, there was the first group. Yeah, it just bloomed. And it was like, I discovered gifts that I never really experienced when I was little. And it was like, oh, this is fun and easy. I remember my mother was quite scared. My God, you're scared of what you're doing. And I'm like, oh, no, not really. It's actually fun and easy.

6:19And that is quite remarkable because at 21, you know, your early 20s, many people are trying to fit in to do what's expected of them. You know, the route that most of us go when our parents expect a lot from us, go to university, often become a doctor. And then to go into the spiritual side is quite unusual. How did you find your like-minded people? Oh, okay. So I, good question. Now it's just all coming back to me now. It's so cool to me how awareness just shows up always at excellent timing. It was one of those major moments in my life when I was asking myself of my self-worth.

7:07And yeah, like early 20s, you know, just finished uni, rough first degree, and then going to a second degree. And I was like, what do I, who am I really, you know? Like, and what am I supposed to be doing to contribute to this world? And all of these unusual gifts that people might call weird, which I love now, by the way, the meaning of this word weird. Because it allowed me to embrace all facets of myself. So I have a 1925 dictionary and I've learned somewhere that all original energies of words before 1945, before World War II, like the original energies of energies.

7:54And in that dictionary that I have weird means of spirit, faith, and destiny, and of magical influence. So ever since then, I was like, I am actually self. For first and proud of it to say that I had my weirdness. So that's everyone. And wonderful. Yeah, enjoy and celebrate it. So you met your people and could see that there were two sides trying to bring in the kind of academic and then the, we won't call it weird, but you know, the spiritual side. Did you carry on using the two together? Or did you move into one aspect and leave the other side behind?

8:41I still love this question. I actually, so I was working in a hospital. I was doing clinical nursing, education, and I was working in aged care. Like, like all at the same time, I'm the type of person that finds excitement and vitality in the different roles that I do. And, and so yes, I actually am still like I did. And I am still using the tools that I've learned and developed all these years, even when I was doing my clinical nursing. So whenever I would deal with clinical emergencies or deaths, I actually found myself speaking with the patient's higher self while they're in a coma

9:27or just before going into a coma and assisting them with what choice they're really trying to make. And I've seen that time and again, even when someone is on an end of life pathway, that they either resurrect or they choose to move on peacefully. And that was actually very powerful. And I really find that beautiful. I know some people might find it gruesome, but I understand, you know, incredibly powerful. But the other people, particularly in the nursing, you know, the aged care sector, they might find that really weird if you said, oh, I've just spoken to whoever. And, you know, this is what they want. How did people respond to you? Or did you talk about it and then got a feedback that wasn't great and then

10:16kind of hit your talents for a bit? How did that work for you? So I always ask myself questions. Like I said earlier, I love questions. Is it kindness to actually speak to family about what had transpired in my connection with their loved one's subconscious or even their higher self? And there would only be a few that I would get a pull of a yes. But a lot of the times I would share it with my colleagues who are my co-managers that actually see this and understand it as well. So with the feedback that I get from families that it wasn't the right time for me to tell them what conversations I've had with their loved ones, I would get feedback like,

11:06thank you so much. I thought that choosing my mom's advanced care directives to have a peaceful and comfortable end of life pathway was actually not really kind because they were scared of what their families might say and judge them as like, oh, you know, like, oh, there you signed this paperwork and what have you. But they got at peace with it and they would approach me and say, thank you. Thank you so much for allowing me the possibility that this is actually kindness. And I could sense that because a lot of these people can't decide for themselves, you know, the actual care recipients. But I knew like in my heart and in my spiritual connection with them that they agree with what

11:53their loved ones have chosen for them that is for their highest good. So that's how it transpired for me. So what you said earlier, and I hope I understood it correctly, saying that you asked yourself the question, is it kind to ask this question? And you said the majority of the times it was no. So why was it that the majority of times the answer was no? Okay, so we were actually not taught that everything that occurs in our life is our choice, even birth. I have read in so many books and, you know, well-renowned speakers, more on the spiritual side that children choose their parents.

12:40But also what if death is also a choice? And the reason why I speak strongly of this and believe this is how many times have I seen doctors give, you know, a time frame for how long a person would live? Oh, you only have three months left to go. And I've seen it time and again that people would actually choose to live longer. Or even on the other side, on the other hand, when the doctors would say, oh, you have five years with this diagnosis and then the pop of the planet the very next day is they don't want to go through that process. And I looked after people that are on end of life pathway that have resurrected so many times, bounce back. I said, nothing happened. Next day they're walking, they're eating, they're conversing with other people.

13:28So that's like, ah, so what if that is really what is the ultimate truth at everything in life is a choice. So is that so you wouldn't tell their families because the information you got from that person was they were no longer choosing to be there. And you didn't want to upset the families by conveying that. Yes. And also honoring the their loved one that's on well quote unquote of that confidentiality. Yeah. Because they it's also most likely a kindness for their loved ones not to exactly know about it. We would tend to go to our rational minds like on that can't be through.

14:16But yeah, having that giving confidence to the person that I have just converse with in a spiritual level like allows that trust as well. And what I've learned all through these years of speaking with spirits and entities that they're not always here to, you know, to be harmful or scary. Sometimes it is here to communicate to connect to contribute even or to cooperate. So and a lot of the times it's unkindness to those people that are not ready to hear this. Yeah. Just because I'm aware of something doesn't mean that I have to share it to everyone

15:02about everything. Maybe not at this particular time. And maybe at some point, maybe not. Well, that's some very interesting. And this is an amazing gift that you found when you were very young, you know, in your early 20s and it's carried on throughout your your working life. Is there any part of this that doesn't serve you that you sometimes wish you didn't have this gift? I used to, yeah, when I started like really stepping into this because I would like get sensations in my body whenever I have entity awareness. And now that I don't resist it, I step into it fully.

15:49It's actually giving me information. So I'll give you a specific example if I may. Yes. So if I come home from work, whether it's hospital or aged care, and then I would feel like center of my chest is quote unquote painful. I always do quote unquote because I'd never used the word pain right now. I would choose intensity. Yeah, because once we say pain, we've locked it in our bodies and that it's ours. So what I've learned over the years is, oh, so I come home and like, noticing that intensity in my chest. I didn't really do anything for you today. I wonder what is this? Is this even mine? And as soon as I even ask the question, is this even mine?

16:35It lightens up even just a little bit. And I just know that it's someone else's that I'm just aware of. And so can you pass that on? If it is an intensity that's not yours, it's possible. Are you able to shift that quite quickly? Yes, I can by speaking through the energy of it and returning it to the center where I've picked it from or thinking my body. Thank you for the information. Thank you for the awareness and it dissipates. And actually that awareness allows the effect to ripple through to the person that it's come from and where they've picked it up from and so on and so forth. So it's a ripple effect. Wow, right.

17:22So that's a fascinating part of your life. It's been, you know, thread the whole way through. But the second stone I just wanted to touch on, if that's okay with you, it's your journey involving navigating domestic violence. And if you're comfortable, I'd like to go then just because I think it's a fairly significant chapter. Yes. So this has been very recent in the last two and a half to three years. And it was a long relationship, about 10 years. The domestic violence part, I only discovered that after the official decision of moving on with our lives, you know, after separation,

18:10because then I could see it. I found that while I was in it, it was harder for me to see it. It's so easy for me to support and assist others in their, you know, life questions and more clarity. But during the last three years, for some reason, there was something that's not allowing me to fully see it for myself when I was working on myself. And also like having realized, you know, what has changed? And energy has shifted. Something in each of us has changed. And my awareness was I have grown more and more spiritually, stepping more into who I am. And the other party was choosing something different.

18:59And when we come to what I would call a lower frequency or vibration, we attract a lot of unseen energies and this could even include entities and energies that tend to attach to that lower frequency and could make someone think differently. And so like I told you, I have a background in psychology and nursing, did not go through medicine schools right after psychology, as I was watching people that were diagnosed with mental health illness, those with schizophrenia, and they would speak to different voices or people in their head. And I've had this question, what if who they're talking to is not

19:46unreal, like what we would tell them, oh no, you're not hearing voices, you're not seeing things, but what if they actually have. And I have discovered that they have entity awareness and they don't know what to do with it. And so the medical system don't know what to do with it either. And so what I discovered with my partner was it was choosing lower frequency and vibration allowed other energies to influence himself. And as I do, I ask for permission from my guides and from my higher self, from the universe, if it was okay for me to do and to tap into his energy. And if there's any other unseen energies that's involved in this, and it was a yes. And he would harbor so many entities every single day, no matter how much I cleared him,

20:37because I knew that. So this is the same person. Gosh, you've been with him for 10 years. And it was absolutely fine, but as the time went on, it was only in the last three years where things changed significantly. Just so that I don't understand this properly. And he had, and you picked up all these different entities, was he aware of all these entities and was he aware of how he was changing and did he get any help for it? He was not fully aware of the whole context of it. But during the first year of our separation, we were gifting, I would say gifting each other energy sessions. So he's learned one of the practical tools that I've learned and I teach as well.

21:23And like it was going smoothly. And once he drifted away from that saying, no, I'm not going to do that anymore. Just started getting heavier and heavier. It's like trying to run in water. That's how it felt for me. And no matter how many times I cleared him on a regular basis, he'd still come and invite other lower frequency energies. And yeah, I know because he would go on this roller coaster of overthinking and replaying things in his head. And so is that when you said you went, I have to get out of here because there's nothing I can do with this. This is Groundhog Day and I need to get out for my own sanity.

22:09And so just in terms of the domestic violence, what did that look? Because you said at the time you weren't to where it was, but looking back now it was just in practical terms, if you're comfortable. Can you just tell us what that looked like? Yes. So after the separation, as you go through some documents and legal processes, I had to look through back statements for the last 10 years. And that wasn't easy. It was like, wow, it's like 10 years of paperwork. And then seeing some financial, it was related to financial, money being transferred from our mortgage to his personal account and to his other property without consulting me.

22:55And also I discovered and became more aware of the way he was speaking to me differently. And a lot of women, because I've learned so much about this Debbie, about what coercive control actually is and manipulation. And then instilling that, you've probably heard of the word gaslighting. It's like making doubt yourself. Yeah. And no matter how much you explain or try to make sense of it, if someone is not choosing that, it will never be clear or resolved. Because it's like you're both talking in different frequencies. It's like he's in that radio station and I'm in this radio station with different languages.

23:42So it was an interesting experience. So once I stepped out of it, I could actually see it more objectively and I became more aware as I expanded my awareness around this thing. Yeah. And I can imagine being in close proximity without stepping away. You're too close to be able to see the big picture. So what internal boundary became non-negotiable for you after this separation? Oh, it was this particular, I would say, asset called honour, honouring myself. If I was really honouring myself again in question, would I allow myself to go through this even though I know that it's not benefiting me?

24:32And being able to navigate through that was quite challenging in the beginning because I'm like, no, surely not. You know, because someone's going through something difficult, it's probably, you know, they're speaking more forcefully. Or yeah, and I noticed like some patterns in the other party's behavior that were escalating that before I probably would have just said, oh, no, he's just had a bad day. But then like, no, and then I even stepped in and that was the first time I had my real voice in that relationship when I went and said, just because we're separated, you do not have the right to speak to me in that way or in that tone.

25:19Like, I know we have to navigate through this process together, but I will not find this and accept this as a natural thing. So, no. And I love that honouring yourself. I think that's incredibly empowering. So that takes me to the women that you support nowadays. You know, they're often high achieving, empowered and capable. So what is usually beneath the surface when they come to you? They come to me with different things like, for instance, unexplained fatigue at work or unable to focus, just being a lot more cloudy or unable to sleep or they get certain, they feel certain sensations in their bodies that they cannot explain.

26:07And a lot of these are healthcare professionals as well, have gone to the doctor and they couldn't find anything. And so they come to me to see what else is there that I am aware of or unaware of that you can see. And then we go deeper into frequency levels for them. And if there's any disruptive energies attached to them, it's easy for me to just clear. So that would be so many different types of energies. Everybody comes with a different story. Yes. And it could include not, not just including this lifetime. Okay. There would be entities. There would be demonic influences.

26:53And there could even be some past life choices, challenges or there's even, there's so many facets in my protocol Debbie. And one of them as well is non-beneficial archetypes. So for instance, if they were a martyr in the past life or they were a persecutor in a past life that they are unaware of, that they're still carrying the energies of that could be the guilt or the revenge and even attachments to other people in their lives that they don't know why is this relationship a lot hotter than anything else. So I can check the compatibility of their frequency and their spirit guides and restore it to what would work for both parties.

27:38And also able to determine if, no, like the frequencies of these two people, they're not willing to change it. So then giving them that awareness to my clients, they're able to make their choice more consciously and spiritually as well. Wow. That's wonderful. So for a woman perhaps listening who's navigating a, you know, identity shift or something major right now, what advice would you give to her? Ah, advice that I would give to her is... So this is real time I'm tapping into the energy right now, like connecting to an actual person.

28:25Mm-hmm. I would first ask that person what they see themselves as and is it something that they think that they need to find and then helping them come back home to themselves because everything that we're looking for is actually within us and... So it's a lot of introspection. Yes. Mm-hmm. Beautiful. Now if this chapter of your life had a title, if you could sum up a message for this, you know, of these women listening, what would that message be? Oh, wow. If a title...

29:10If a title or a message or... That's it. How else do you want to phrase it? Okay. So a title that just jumped up right now is embracing the extraordinary. I love that, embracing the extraordinary. Yeah, and it's all facets of oneself that they're aware of and that they're unaware of. That's beautiful. I love that because, you know, extraordinary is something we don't often allow. We stay in the ordinary, but we do. We are extraordinary and going deeper and knowing that it's all within us, it is something very powerful. So Jean, kind of thank you so much for taking your time and for sharing this story with us

30:00and all your gems, wonderful gems. And yeah, and best of luck with all the work that you do. Thank you so much, Debbie, and all the best to everyone that's listening to this now and in the future.